Lamentation
by Miss Link 87
Summary: A deeper look into what was going on in Midna's mind during one of the biggest turning points of her life. One-shot.


_Author Notes: I own nothing, of course. Just R&R. :]_

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><p><strong>Lamentation<strong>

"_Link, hero chosen by the goddesses… Go to the princess locked away in the castle. That princess holds the key that can unlock you from your shadow form…"_

Too loud. Everything around me was too loud. Rain was pelting me ceaselessly, chilling me to the bone. I swore I could feel each droplet as it rolled off my hideously pale skin to intermingle with the soaked coat of the beast below me. It was everything I could do to desperately grasp onto that dark, slick fur in my small hands as my body shivered uncontrollably with each heartbeat throbbing in my head. Each ragged breath I took shook me so violently I feared it would quench what little life I had left within me.

My mind teetered uselessly on that fear and I wanted so much to scoff at myself and my condition. How pitiful I was to be helplessly clinging to a mangy wolf in the pouring rain while my kingdom was being overtaken by that vile usurper king! This was getting me nowhere. There was no time for this! But I did not sneer. Not because I had no strength to do so, but because there was nothing to sneer at.

I knew my time was growing short. I could feel it.

I had heard of horror stories of the fates of fellow inhabitants in the Twilight Realm who had been exposed to light. I had heard of the vicious intensity and the merciless torture of that wretched light as it bore into the skin, setting it ablaze as the body smoldered from the inside out. But those stories couldn't hold a candle to the way it felt to truly experience it. It burned in a way that I could never describe well enough for any ignorant light dweller to ever fully comprehend. But I had only gotten a taste of it. That Light Spirit sent me away before my life was ended right then and there. The reason behind its deed was lost to me. I was nothing but a shadow in this dreadfully bright world, but yet it still spared me.

It spared me too late.

I had hoped to return to my realm victorious, wielding the ancient power of the Fused Shadows to expose Zant's false power and destroy that worthless piece of existence. I pictured myself singlehandedly taking back my kingdom as it was rightfully mine, and alone I would liberate the people from Zant's relentless torture and agony. But I was caught off guard when Zant found us at the spring and all of that hard work that I had put into getting my hands on those Fused Shadows was thrown away with a simple flick of his demented magic. And then he had killed me.

I found myself wishing again for the strength to scoff, but I quickly realized that this time my motive behind the desire was different. This time… I was ashamed. I really couldn't recall the last time I had ever truly felt shame or remorse. In the past I had always brushed those emotions aside. Such sentiments were not fit for royalty, for they showed signs of weakness. But now… this was different.

I realized I was no hero. I had done nothing to save my kingdom except ordering this wolf-boy around and making him do all of the work that I should have been doing myself. I basked comfortably in his shadow, watching him like I was viewing some kind of theatrical performance as he poured his blood, sweat and tears into the fight to reveal the fragments of the ancient magic I was searching for. I had ridden lazily on his muscular canine back, merely tightening my grip on his fur as he courageously clawed through and tore apart the flesh of Bulblins and Bokoblins and Shadow Insects that stood in our way. He was almost eaten alive in the fight against that disgusting parasite in the Forest Temple. He could have been torn to shreds in the struggle to save the Goron patriarch from his shadowed form. He could have drowned if he made a wrong move in the battle against that oversized eel in the Lakebed Temple. And what had I done? Nothing. I gave him a few suggestions when he looked a little unsure, but otherwise I was constantly barking orders at him and ridiculing him whenever he made a mistake. Sure, I helped him take down packs of Shadow Beasts, but I had always been confident that he would have eventually figured something out had I not offered a helping hand. I knew he was smart, even though I always treated him like a dunce.

And what else had I done? Nothing.

I could see now that Link was more than worthy of possessing the power of this light world's ancient hero. I could not even hold a candle to him.

I had apologized to him as we stood in muddy puddles at the very bottom of the Lakebed Temple after obtaining the last Fused Shadow. Apologies were also something I did rarely. I knew it was something I needed to say to him, but there was little more than apathy behind my words. It seemed so long ago now. Then, I didn't mean it. But now, I saw everything in an entirely new light.

"I'm sorry…" I felt my lips form those words, but my voice was lost in the sound of the rain and in the labor of my breathing. Those two words were simply an echo of what I had already said to him, but never before had I wanted so desperately to say those two words to him over and over for everything I had put him through.

I was sure he hated me. And if he did, I didn't blame him.

Link was running. I could tell by his rhythm. But this was different than other times. I had never felt his muscles work so hard as his four powerful legs carried us across the wet grasslands. There was something here now that wasn't there before. There was a level of heightened urgency that I had never sensed before. My muddled, wandering mind pondered on his motivation. Did he somehow know how badly I needed to see the Princess before my approaching death? No, that didn't quite seem to fit. There was something more.

Although my limbs had fallen numb, I felt his muscles clench even more beneath my belly as I clutched onto him. We suddenly surged forward and I absently caught onto a throaty scream as I focused on hanging on. I dimly registered a small group of Bulblins surrounding us, threatening the wolf carrying me. He was slashing into them relentlessly… and I seemed to pick up on a vague sense of recklessness. He knew he didn't have time for this. _We_ didn't have time for this. But I feared his haste would turn back on him.

"Please… careful…" I whispered. Or had I only thought it? I couldn't tell the difference anymore.

Shortly after, Link resumed his determined trek through the angry rain. Whether he had killed all of the Bulblins or had simply escaped them, I didn't know. I couldn't keep track of how much time passed before it began to feel like we were out of the fields. I knew my eyes were open, but it was like I was nearly blind. I usually had little trouble seeing through rain and darkness, but everything was flying past me in a shadowy blur to remain a mystery. I took this moment to silently thank Link for his speed, and I hoped the last thing I would see would be Princess Zelda's face.

The shouts and shrieks of men and women seemed far-away in my ears as I slowly surmised that we had made it into Castle Town. I could feel my thoughts drift sluggishly as I absently pictured the townspeople running away and shrinking back at the sight of a wolf dashing through the streets. For a fleeting moment I found humor in the mental image I had come up with, maybe because I knew Link was not the ferocious blood-thirsty beast everyone else saw at first glance. I knew exactly who and what he was, unlike anyone else in all of Hyrule. But strangely, I found myself taking pride in knowing a part of the Chosen Hero that no one else did. No, that had always been our little secret – a secret that I was taking to my grave.

If I had had the strength, I would have smiled.

Something in the back of my mind reminded me that Princess Zelda was not as easy to get to as she might have been on a typical day before Zant's rampage. It was not like we should just walk right into the Castle with no worries, especially with Link looking the way he did right now… and _especially_ with me hanging onto his back. That would definitely be an adventure I wouldn't last long enough to survive. Memories spiraled in my brain like a hurricane as I managed to recall the day I met Link and took him to meet Zelda in that tower. We had started that journey with Link in the castle's dungeons, which had made the trip easier since that had already put him on the inside and all I had to do was help him jump a few gaps that he couldn't land on his own. But now we were on the outside. How would we get in now?

I felt so inadequate.

Link had stopped running as the raindrops assaulting my skin vanished. Or so I first thought. The pounding of the falling water on the ground was still thumping against my eardrums as Link's panting competed with my own. We must have stopped underneath some sort of roof or awning, I thought as another ruthless shudder coursed through my body. But what for? We had been making so much progress. Why stop now? And where were we?

Light flooded my vision so surprisingly I thought I was having some kind of flashback, but when it did not intensify I realized I still had some kind of weak grip on reality and I attempted to lift my head to see where this wolf had taken me.

"Beast! Get out!"

That shrill voice cut through my mind like a sword. Before my withered body could conjure any kind of reaction, Link suddenly lurched backward and I vaguely heard him cry out in what sounded like a mixture of pain and surprise. I had no idea what kept me from flying off of his back as he somersaulted away from the light like someone had kicked him. Then there was a loud slamming noise, and the light was extinguished. Again, I tried so hard to lift my head to try to make sense of what had just happened, but it was no use. I gave up, and for a few moments I swore I thought I heard Link give a brief whimper.

Then came another voice. I winced when it called out to us, but this one was nowhere near as harsh as the first one. As the voice spoke calmly to Link I came to the conclusion that it was female, but her words passed through my mind as if they were words of a language I couldn't understand. I felt detached as if I was dreaming, like I was an outsider absentmindedly eavesdropping on some secluded discussion. I forced myself to crack an eye open wider just long enough to spot the blurred form of a large white cat standing in front of Link, the black slits in her green eyes fixed upon me. I couldn't remember anything she had said up to this point, but fragments of words began tumbling out of the dry depths of my throat whether they pertained to the conversation or not.

"Plea… please… Princess… Z-Zelda…"

I didn't know if I was speaking to the cat or if I was speaking to Link, but nothing was more important than getting back to that tower. I had to. We had to. I just had to talk to her.

And then I could die.

"This way!"

I jumped. Those two words were painfully clearer than anything else that I had heard this cat utter. Even though I couldn't bring myself to look in whatever direction she had indicated, I knew Link was looking. But then it dawned on me that this cat was helping us get to Princess Zelda. I had no idea how Link had found her, who she was or where she was from, but I really didn't care. My gratitude for this wolf-boy grew in leaps. No, he definitely wasn't lost without my guidance.

But I had never really been that much help to begin with, had I?

…Waterway? She had just mentioned something about a waterway. Another memory sparked as I thought back on overhearing that older Hylian woman telling Link about some kind of passageway to the castle from inside the bar she owned. So that was where Link had taken me. He had surely gone to the bar to seek out that passageway. This had to have been that fat cat that was always at the bartender's heels.

Never again would I doubt Link's intelligence. Not that I would ever get another opportunity to do so anyway.

As my train of thought wavered, I was gradually filled with the feeling of being watched. It took so much effort to coax my visible eye to focus again on the place the cat had stood, but she was gone. I felt my defenses try to react, but it only brought forth pain and I winced again. So I tried a different approach. Slowly – agonizingly slowly – I rolled my head back to change my limited line of sight, only to find a single blue eye turned in my direction. Even in my fading state, I could easily see the worry radiating from the sapphire blue as Link gazed back at me. I could always read his wolf face as easily as any light dweller could read the emotions on his human face. His eyes were asking me if I was okay.

It was a ridiculously pointless question. I knew that, and I was pretty sure he did, too. We both knew what kind of shape I was in. But the look in his eye now was that same look I saw whenever he interacted with people he loved and cared about. But it had never been directed at me before. If anything, my sneers and put-downs had always robbed that look from his eyes. But yet it was here staring at me in the face for the first time… ever.

I opened my mouth, but at first nothing came out. I was drowning in this undeserved compassion and for a second I thought it was going to be the end of me. I could hardly handle the sudden understanding of Link's incentive behind this journey from just the glint in his eye.

It was me. He wanted to save me.

All of a sudden, I had so much I wanted to tell him. This wasn't about me anymore. It should have never been about me in the first place. This was about the fate of the Twilight Realm… and now I was beginning to see that it was about the fate of the light world as well.

"Go." It was the only word I could muster. The strength I had exerted just to meet his eye was eating at me. I would be gone very soon. He needed to go. _Please. Please go, Link. Please._ Just before my eyelids drooped to close once more, I tried to channel that request through my stare. He huffed and began to move once more. He understood. He always understood.

The ride started off incredibly bumpy as I felt him climb and jump until we were finally out of the rain. This time I kept my eyes screwed shut as I concentrated on breathing and hanging onto Link's fur. I had never prayed to the goddesses before because of my resentment towards them for banishing my tribe from the light world so long ago, but as the noise of the drumming rain faded away I helplessly prayed that the goddesses would give me just enough life to get to Zelda. It was too hard for me to try and keep track of where Link was going. The sounds changed too often, most of them foreign to me. At first there was a low rumbling of voices that seemed to come from underneath us and I felt Link taking a lot of effort into balancing on either on a rope line or a thin ledge. Then those calm voices faded just like the rain had a few minutes ago, and I automatically tightened my feeble clutch as I felt him attack another assailant. Before long the silence returned, only to be penetrated by the muffled voice of a man who seemed to be talking directly to Link. My eyelids were too heavy for me to satisfy my curiosity and I didn't care enough to try and make out any of his words.

I let my thoughts drift again and for a moment I simply floated along with them; the loose ends of memories old and new danced around me, intermingling with each other so intricately that I could no longer tell them apart from each other. But it wasn't until it was too late when I began to feel my entire mentality slip from my grip. I reeled in horror as I felt myself fading. I couldn't feel Link's wet fur in my hands, I couldn't hear the talking man, nor could I even feel my own heartbeat. I frantically searched for my voice to yell or make some kind of noise. I tried to find my hands to pull on his fur, but I felt paralyzed. I couldn't move.

Was this what it felt like to die?

_It's too soon! __No!_

My body jolted so massively that my eyelids shot open from the rush of adrenaline. My eyes darted around anxiously in confusion. What had just happened? Had I just blanked out for a while? The vague feeling of fur in my hands returned to me as I found us rushing through the rain again. The view I was greeted with made me feel sick at first as I stared helplessly down the steep slope of a rooftop and towards a really long fall that would not only be the end of me but the end of the wolf carrying me as well. Vertigo overtook me and I screwed my eyes closed as I prayed again for Link to hurry. I knew we were close to the tower. So close, yet so far. So, so far…

I recognized the screech of a Kargarok and I felt Link jolt uncomfortably. My hands slid towards the ends of the fur and this time I could not readjust my grip. It was just too hard. My bleached body was finally purged of its strength. I had no more to give, and I could only hope what was left was enough. I could think of nothing more tragic than to die at the door of Zelda's confinement.

I no longer felt a difference when the rain stopped assaulting my skin, but somehow I knew we were here. I didn't know how I knew. I had stopped relying on my senses a long time ago. But it was unbearably quiet here. The silence was so loud in my ears that it nearly drowned out the sound of the breaths I kept forcing in and out of my body.

The silence pressed on. Where was Zelda?

The inviting warmth in the room surrounded me and loosened my muscles until I could no longer hold onto Link's fur. I didn't feel myself sliding off of his back, but I felt a part of me die as I met the harsh unforgiving ground. I heard the scrapes of Link's claws against the floor as he stepped around me, trying to peer into my face, his blue eyes clouded over with worry.

So this was going to be my resting place. This was where I would take my last breath.

And was she even here?

Even in the room's warmth I was deathly cold. I couldn't stop shivering as I felt my chest grow tighter and tighter, my breaths coming in shorter rasps. And suddenly I was terrified. This was it. I was going to die here alone in an empty room, an entire realm away from home, and I couldn't even fulfill my last task of giving the Princess my dying wish. How pathetic.

Link whimpered, his nose only inches from my face. I imagined myself reaching out to pet his muzzle with a smile. No, I wasn't completely alone. Link was here in my final moments.

My thoughts danced with the memories of racing with him through Hyrule.

And I was happy with that.

_It will be okay, Link. You'll do okay without me…_

The gentle hand that came to rest on my cheek seemed to appear out of nowhere. Her presence had somehow come out of hiding and relief washed over me to provide one final burst of energy. I lifted a trembling hand towards her, the blurred forms of both Zelda and Link in the corners of my eyes.

"Please… please tell me…" I whispered. I could hardly hear my own fading voice. "How do we break… the curse on this one?" Tenderly she clasped both of her hands over mine and I felt a sense of comfort, like a child in the arms of its mother. It penetrated some of the clouds in my consciousness and my eyes drifted towards Link as he turned his eyes towards me once more. "This… is the one… You need him… to save your world! That's why… Princess… Please… you must help Link…" His name felt foreign on my tongue as I realized I had never said it out loud before. I reproached myself for all of the boorish names I called him.

She had to help Link. She _had_ to. He was the One. There was no one else. I knew that now. And she had to know it now, too. Everything was doomed without him.

Princess Zelda lifted her eyes to gaze at the wolf standing cross from her. One of her hands left mine and she reached out over me, a triangular symbol glowing through the glove on the back of her hand as she reached out towards him, closing her eyes in concentration.

"What binds him is a different magic than what transformed him when he first passed the curtain of twilight," she spoke. Though her voice was soft it lanced through my mind. "It is an evil power."

Zant. My mind hung on that madman's name like it was taunting me and reminding me of my defeat, beckoning me to wallow in self pity as I started to lose Zelda's voice.

"Sacred grove… Deep within the lands guarded by the spirit Faron… The blade of evil's bane… The Master Sword… Evil cloaks you like a dark veil… That blade is the only thing that can cleave it… Hero sent by the goddesses…"

I tried so hard to latch onto each word she spoke, but most of them fell into the oblivion of my wilting mind. The weight of my eyelids was overpowering. "Fine… Link…" I could barely stammer, "You can… You can… get to the woods… on your own, right?"

Only the goddesses above could have known how much I wanted to be able to go with him.

Life was cruel like that.

Link huffed and I wondered if he understood the weight of my question.

"Princess… I have one last request…" My time was falling away from me like sand through my fingers. It had to be now. Or else it would be never. One last hope for both worlds. "Can you tell him… where to find the Mirror of Twilight?"

Zelda's gasp echoed in the room until the thick silence swallowed it up and pressed around me as if trying to choke me. It stretched on as my eyes locked onto her widened eyes.

"Midna," she began, her voice strong and even, "I believe I understand now just who and what you are. Despite your mortal injuries, you act in our stead. These dark times are the result of our deeds, yet it is you who have reaped the penalty." She paused, and as my body began to fail me I found myself trying to decode the thoughts in her mind that reflected through her blue eyes.

"Accept this now, Midna. I pass it to you."

What?

The elegant hands that were covering mine began to grow hot, stealing my attention from the empty space it had been fixed on. Her eyes had closed and I recognized the tension in the features of her face as that of someone who was utilizing her power and focusing it somewhere… Her hands glowed in iridescence and I watched dainty particles of light creep up my extended arm like small dust particles. It warmed my shivering body as it surrounded me and I began to glow almost as brightly as the hands that were holding me. A burst of some new kind of energy flowed through my veins and I gasped, finding new strength to lift my head and take a look around at what was happening. Shock overwhelmed me when I saw color rushing back into my overexposed skin. I tried to sit up, but as my legs kicked uselessly I realized that I wasn't even touching the floor anymore. By an invisible force, I was being lifted higher into the air over Zelda's bowed head and over Link's nose as he curiously sniffed the air. My head snapped back towards Zelda in alarm.

This was not what I had asked for!

"No! Link! STOP HER!"

Zelda's eyes met mine, but the weight in her stare told me that it was too late turn back now. There was no stopping now. In that simple stare she told me this was the way it was, and the way it needed to be to make all things right again. And somehow I knew she was right. Helplessly I watched my hand slip from her grasp as I rose higher above her, and as the light around us dimmed and faded from the room, Zelda herself faded away along with it.

The sound of the rain falling against the windows filled the room as my feet gently touched down onto the ground again beside Link, who was gazing at me in a mixture of confusion, relief, and another emotion I couldn't quite pinpoint. I couldn't look away from the place where Zelda had been kneeling only a moment ago, where now there was only emptiness that filled her space. Slowly, I bowed my head as that final image of her face flashed through my mind. I had been on my final breath, and now here I was standing complete without having to hide in Link's shadow to avoid the harsh light of this world. That mere hour that I had spent clinging onto a wolf's fur for dear life had stretched on for an eternity in my mind. I had nearly forgotten what it felt like to stand, what it felt like to have a clear mind. And now here I was. I had cheated death.

No. I hadn't done anything.

Zelda sacrificed herself for me.

My request was indeed being fulfilled. By me.

I felt an odd sensation of warmth well up inside of me. Somehow Zelda's presence was not completely gone. I still felt her. She was very near. Very near.

I turned to the wolf standing beside me, and I found that same soft look in his sapphire eyes once more. "We go back, Link!" I spoke into the silence. "Back to Faron Woods!" That was what Zelda had said. I remembered so clearly now. And I was more than willing to heed her advice.

Suddenly, I found myself reaching out to Link like I had wished I could only a few minutes ago. My fingers grazed the top of his muzzle as I realized I had never pet him before. I had never pet _anything_ before, actually. Hundreds of things that I wanted to say to him raced through my brain as curiosity and surprise dominated the features of his face. _If it wasn't for you, Link, I'd be dead. I'm sorry for the way I treated you. Thank you for getting me here safely. Thank you for putting up with me. Thank you for your speediness._ But instead only a simple phrase escaped my lips, my voice so soft I was pretty sure he would never have been able to hear me if it hadn't been for his sharp canine ears, both of which pointed towards me as I whispered.

"Thank you."

With that, I sailed with ease into the air to perch myself lightly onto Link's back. Immediately, Link turned towards the doors to leave the room, but for a moment, he paused as he sniffed the air, and I knew that he could still pick up on Zelda's presence. I bowed my head once more as I glanced down at my hands that were so full of life… and of Zelda's light.

"Zelda…" I murmured into the air, "I've taken all that you had to give… though I did not want it."

I knew that when the time came and we found her again, I would gladly give back to her all that she gave to me.


End file.
